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Same Goal, Different Routes

Well, we had a flight scheduled for Minneapolis this week and I made the flight, but you didn’t. I missed my plane, although it wasn’t irresponsibility. It was a snow storm I got caught in. We got there eventually, together. We gave our seminar that night, but nobody would have suspected we got to the same place via different routes that day. We never imagined it. That same is true sometimes in marriage life, becuase we will have a common goal we are working toward, but my personality or my circumstances causes me to get there in a different way. Well, I think that is a great point to remember in our marriages. We might have the same goal in mind, but our personalities cuase us to take a different route.

If you have a comment or question for the New Shine.FM Relationship Experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

Traps

squirrel

We’ve come to call our good friend, Kevin, who lives in Kansas City, “The Squirrel Traper”.

 

Yes, we have. He’s become obsessed with getting the squirrels away from his new roof and he’s trapping them.

 

He’s pretty humane about it. He takes them to another location to release them.

 

Absolutely, sets them free.

 

He just doesn’t want them damaging his roof.  In the same way it’s not a bad thought to think about the traps we need to set around our own house of love to protect it.

 

Sometimes the things that can creep in and damage it, like bitterness, resentment, or even self-pity I can be guilty of sometimes.

 

Friend, think about this in your own relationship. It makes for a good conversation. What traps do you need to set around your house of love?

 

If you have a comment or question for the New Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

 

Listen to today’s audio here.

The Value of Laughter

laughter

Anyone who hears us talk much about marriage knows we value laughter.

 

It is so intimate to laugh together.

 

But isn’t there kind of a double edge sword when it comes to laughter?

 

Yes, there can be. Because when you’re on the end—the receiving end—of a zing, sometimes you can really get your feelings hurt.

 

That is the result of sarcasm, right? That’s humor at somebody else’s expense.

 

Here, I’ll tell you what. The truth is, some people feel really connected when they are throwing around those kind of barbs, and other people feel very distanced by it.

 

It comes to understanding your spouse’s funny bone. Did they grow up in a home where that kind of thing was connecting or disengaging? It’s a good question to explore together.

 

If you have a comment or question for the New Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

Repair

repaircar

One of my friends is a car nut. I mean he is a fanatic, and he is always rebuilding car engines

 

It’s a mystery to me, but he loves putting that back together.

 

Rebuilding it. The same way, I was thinking about how you rebuild something as important as trust in a marriage.

 

That’s right. It’s kind of like putting that engine back together.

 

Because we break that trust sometimes over even small things, like a pattern of over spending or over working—and we have to establish this good faith between us.

 

It’s so vital. Friend, in your own relationship as you think about rebuilding trust on a big scale or little scale, remember it’s vital to driving you to the next level of intimacy.

 

If you have a comment or question for the New Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

Hope in Marriage

We’re having coffee yesterday with our friend Tim, and he told us something that really startled us. We’ve known him for more than fifteen years, and we learned something new about his marriage.

 

He described a moment three years into their marriage where he came home to an empty house, the furniture was gone, and his wife had packed her bags and moved away.

 

Now it’s twenty years later. Of course they’re married, have two great kids, and they’re doing great.

 

A great couple!

 

You’d never know it. Such an inspiration for couples that are experiencing the same thing.

 

When you face one of those moments were you’re holding onto nothing but commitment, there is reason for great hope.

 

Friend, there’s hope for you and every marriage, even in the darkest days of the relationship.

 

If you have a comment or question for the New Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

 

Listen to today’s audio here.

Car Wash

Okay, so we’re driving through the car wash yesterday, and our three year old said something that took us by surprise.

Here we are going through this loud machine—they’re fascinated by everything—and he turns to us all and says, “Hey guys, it’s cozy in here!”

And it is cozy in the car, with all that’s going about you. And we said, the same can be true for a relationship.

It is true. Sometimes the stressors we face actually do draw us together, because we have get connected to build our strength—and it really is a cozy kind of a thing.

As you think about that in your own relationship, think how you protect one another from the stuff that’s going on about you, how you can find comfort and coziness in your relationship.

If you have a comment or question for the New Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

Good News: Soldier’s Platoon Helps With Engagement

 

A soldier from New Hampshire came up with a creative way to propose to his girlfriend, with the help of his platoon!  Army Specialist Nicholas Greenwood enlisted the help of his platoon to get in on a surprise proposal to his girlfriend.  Even though he knew Christina didn’t like surprises, he knew he had to propose in a special way.  Watch this fun video here.

 

Battleship

Last night we’re sitting around the table playing Battleship, our two little guys are with us—the three year old doesn’t get it at all—and our seven year old, he’s catching on.

He’s just starting to get the strategy of how you can really try to sink someone’s battleship.

And so we’re calling out these numbers, and trying to say, “Hey, you look at it up here on the radar and then you look down here below for your own.”

Reading the radar is a complex skill for him.

And it’s complex for all of us even in our relationships.

To kind of intuitively begin to read the radar of our spouse and move in the direction that they need—that is a skill.

Friend, it has to do with listening to the words underneath the message. Tune in to your spouse’s radar.

If you have a comment or question for the New Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio.

 

Good News: High School Sweethearts Reunited 70 Years Later

 

When Frank Sinatra crooned the words, “Love is lovelier the second time around,” he could have been singing about 90-year-old Bob Albright and 86-year-old Martha Joy Brindle. Theirs is a love story, almost 70 years in the making.  Bob and Joy were sweethearts before World War II. They met working at the same pharmacy in Indianapolis.  When World War II broke out, the Army sent Bob to the South Pacific.  After the war ended though, the two lost touch.  They each raised families of their own.  And you’ll never guess what they’re up to now.  Find out here.

 

Will A Baby Draw You Closer?

Shine.FM this is Dr. Les Parrott, and I’m Dr. Leslie Parrott, your Shine.FM relationship experts.

It’s another week in seminar. We’re in Boston giving our talk, and we ask the question we so often ask to an audience: What are some of the common misbeliefs of marriage? This guy hollers out his answer, and it cracks everyone up.

He says, “You know if you’re not doing so well, having a baby is the thing that will draw you closer together.”

Not necessary true.

It’s not true because even though we love those kids with all out hearts, they make it a little bit more difficult to get that intimate time.

Friend, think about this in your own marriage. Kids are a huge blessing, but they don’t always bring us closer together.

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.