Dear Dr. Bill,
Our 18-year-old son just informed us that his girlfriend is pregnant. Our son just started college, and I’ve advised them that they should give up the baby for adoption. However my son doesn’t want to do that. We are currently providing the financial support for our son — so how is he going to support a baby? What do you suggest?
It’s encouraging to hear that your son and his girlfriend have opted to “choose life.” I asked a crisis pregnancy center director what she would suggest, and here’s what she said:
Early in a pregnancy most teen couples say they aren’t interested in the adoption alternative. But as time goes on, reality starts to set in. At that point, many teens begin to look seriously at adoption.
DON’T pressure your son and his girlfriend to decide on adoption right now. If you do, they may proudly proclaim to the world they have decided to become parents. At that point, it will be a lot harder for them to change their minds and consider adoption later on.
If they do decide to keep the baby, it’s important that you and your husband do NOT step in and agree to raise the child, pay all the expenses, and provide child care.
You might say something like: “We’re proud of you for choosing life for your child. Since you’ve decided to keep the baby, you will have the privilege of being parents in the fullest sense of the word. That means you will be responsible to providing for your child financially and doing all of the care-giving.”
Thanks for writing, Lorena. If you have a question for me about family issues or Christian living, click the “Questions” page on the Family Expert page.
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