Dear Dr. Bill,
I know a young, unmarried couple in their early 20s who have become pregnant. They want to keep the baby, but they’re asking my advice about what they should do now. I’ve encouraged them not to rush into marriage and not to live together. There is good support from the young man’s family, but not from the young woman’s family. What do you suggest they do?
What a blessing it is to learn that this couple has decided to choose life and bring this precious little baby to term. You’ve given them very wise counsel—they certainly shouldn’t rush into marriage, and living together will only complicate their situation.
During the coming months they will need to make some difficult decisions—first about their relationship and secondly whether to consider the very loving option of adoption.
I’d suggest they make an appointment with a counselor at a local pregnancy resource center in their area. The counselor can help them explore their choices and provide them with resources and emotional support during the pregnancy.
It’s also important that the see a couples’ therapist in order to pursue premarital counseling. They need to find out if they are well-suited for marriage, and if they will be able to provide their baby with a stable, two-parent home for his or her lifetime.
If they feel that God is leading them to place the baby for adoption, I’d recommend they contact Bethany Christian Services, a wonderful organization that will match them with caring, committed adoptive parents. Their website is
Thanks for writing, Christy. If you have a question for me about family issues or Christian living, click the “Questions” link on the Family Expert page.
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