Relationship Preparation

ringbearer

Our three-year-old and our eight year-old boys are preparing for something a little unique and special for them.

 

A very special honor—they are going to be Ring Bearers together, which they have never done. We’re in the process of getting them measurements for their little tuxes, and the parents are really prepared. We’re trying to coach them down that isle.

 

That reminds you of all of the preparation that goes into that day, that wedding ceremony. I can’t help but think sometimes are we investing as much into the relationship at the same time.

 

Sometimes that gets over looked, and that’s really the most valuable piece.

 

Friend, think about that in your own relationship. What are you doing to prepare, no matter your age or stage, for the days ahead?

 

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here. 

Will a Baby Draw You Closer?

newbaby

It’s another week in seminar. We’re in Boston giving our talk, and we ask the question we so often ask to an audience: What are some of the common misbeliefs of marriage? This guy hollers out his answer, and it cracks everyone up.

 

He says, “You know if you’re not doing so well, having a baby is the thing that will draw you closer together.”

 

Not necessary true.

 

It’s not true because even though we love those kids with all out hearts, they make it a little bit more difficult to get that intimate time.

 

Friend, think about this in your own marriage. Kids are a huge blessing, but they don’t always bring us closer together.

 

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here. 

Leave A Legacy

You know we talk a lot about charting your coarse and setting goals as a couple and that’s really valuable, but there is something you can do deeper than that.

Yeah for the first time we sat down and you really pushed us to think through what kind of legacy we want to leave as a couple.

Yeah and what is it that your marriage, how will you make a difference on this planet?

Of coarse that can have a lot to do with your family and your kids, but there’s even more than that can go into your legacy.

I got to tell you that these conversations were complicated and difficult but boy, were they energizing.

We knew we wanted to leave a legacy of marriage mentoring and some other things.

Friend, think about what you can leave as a result of your marriage on this planet.

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

Learning from the Previous Generation

Well it’s that time of year again we’re gearing up for our marriage class at the university, always a fun experience.

This is a highlight because these college students are beginning to learn about what it takes to have a great marriage.

And the cool thing about this class is not the lectures but the couples we bring in to interview in front of them.

These are couples of every age and stage of married life and they are so transparent.

They let students peer into their married life and ask any question they have.

And they’ll ask any question that is the fun part about it.

You know I love seeing that when we tap into a pervious generation that we can learn from.

You don’t have to be in a class to do that, you can do that in your own marriage today.

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

Clarification Can Go a Long Way

We had an engagement in Boston this week and we’re waiting at Logan Airport for the taxicab and I told the guy I need a taxicab that takes a credit card.

That’s right.

So he went down the line yelling that out in that great Boston accent.

“Card, card need somebody with a card.”

Yeah and I’m not from Boston so I said what is he talking about.

I said it’s as plane as day to me, I grew up there.

That’s when we need to clarify content it’s just another example of how valuable that is.

Especially in marriage.

It is so easy for me to jump to conclusions and I got to check in with you.

Yeah and so when you can’t quite understand what your spouse is saying, friend think about that, just a little bit of clarification can go a long way.

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

The Control Freak

You know, Gerry Spence, world famous attorney said something very interesting in an interview about his marriage on day.

He said, “The day I finally realized I didn’t need to control my wife and if I did I would destroy our marriage was the day our marriage began.”

Isn’t that an amazing insight?

It is a struggle for all of us just to release control of the person we love.

Well you know I wrote a book some years ago called The Control Freak.

Yes you did.

I call it your autobiography.

I know you do.

I like control, and we both do.

Everybody is somebody’s control freak some of the time.

But when we give up some of that control in our own marriage that’s the day our marriage can really begin.

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

A Marriage Mentor

The twelfth man—that is a phrase that every football fan understands.

 

When the audience generates this energy by cheering them on, they can make a team play better.

 

Players have said it makes such a difference in a stadium when you have those fans behind you. You know I think the same is true in any relationship, especially marriage.

 

The truth is as couples we don’t realize how much we can impact another couple by celebrating them in their marriage.

 

Maybe as a marriage mentor or a marriage coach, maybe just friends, but just to have someone on the sidelines cheering you on as a married couple. Friend, think about that in your own relationship. Get a marriage mentor.

 

If you have a comment or question for the New Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here. 

The Extra Mile

I’ve probably said it a million times. The most revolutionary relationship principle I think ever taught was walking the extra mile.

 

Absolutely. That’s not just doing what is expected but doing something that goes beyond that.

 

You kind of walk the first mile because you’re a decent human being.

 

That’s right, most of us do.

 

The extra mile is something that catches people off guard.

 

In marriage it is amazing to experience when you spouse goes the extra mile for you.

 

You can walk the extra mile big ways, little ways. Taking out the trash is the first mile.

 

Then not saying anything about it, just doing it without being asked.

 

That’ s the extra mile.

 

If you have a comment or question for the New Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here. 

What’s Your Ten Percent?

question

You know, with one little question I have seen some couples turn their entire relationship around for twelve months. It’s a question we sometimes pose at seminars or even in the counseling office.

 

I love this question. Here it is: If you could make you marriage ten percent better in just one specific area over the next twelve months, what would that area be?

 

That gets you thinking: “What could I do?” Just ten percent. We’re not talking huge here change here, but that little thing can make a difference.

 

It can immediately. Here’s what I would want: I would want us to have more meals around the dinner table together. I just love that fellowship time.

 

It’s that kind of specific idea that can drive you to make your relationship better.

 

If you have a comment or question for the New Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here. 

Silence in Marriage

Let’s talk about silence. I think this is a neglected skill in marriage.

 

I’ll tell you what. There are times where silence can actually be a gift in a marriage.

 

Thomas Blair said that silence is one of the great arts of conversation, and Thomas Carlisle said, “Silence is as deep as eternity. Speech is as deep as time.”

 

I think that can be true because when we start shooting off of the mouth, talking without thinking we often say things that are hurtful or at least not helpful.

 

And there can be productive silence and there can be silence that isn’t helpful at all.

 

Withdrawing isn’t what we are talking about.

 

Friend don’t neglect it in your marriage, silence is golden.

 

If you have a comment or question for the New Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.