A Coach For Your Marriage

Jim Zorn, the quarterback coach for the Seattle Seahawks recently told me that he got his vision for becoming the kind of athlete he is from a high school coach. It was amazing. You could hear the emotion and gratitude in him. He talked about how he could hold that ball. How he was taught about how to put those fingers on the threads and so forth and he tributes really his career to the investment that coach had in him. Well in the same way there are people that can invest in our marriages and he’ll be the first to admit this because he is a marriage mentor himself with his wife Joy. He and his wife Joy are lovely mentors and they understand the power of that in a couple’s life. Friend, consider the value of a marriage mentor, a coach can bring to your marriage today.

If you have a comment or question for the New Shine.FM Relationship Experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the Relationships Experts page at Shine.FM.

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Ask God, Not Your Partner

Well our two year old made an interesting confession the other day. Yes, he walked in the room and said, “Mom, I’m not going to hit Harbor, our kitty, with my baseball bat.” and I thought, “Oh, very lovely for you to share that with me.” But it did get me thinking because sometimes we disclose things when we have a spirit of confession we don’t necessarily need to gloat. So we talk about things sometimes that in a married relationship that really don’t need to be talked about. If I’m having angry feelings, bitter, or self-pity, I don’t always have to burden you with that. I can ask God to begin to change my heart and let you just experience the effect of that. It’s one of the simple gifts of marriage.

If you have a comment or question for the New Shine.FM Relationship Experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the Relationships Experts page at Shine.FM.

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Handling Conflict In Front Of Your Kids

Whenever we speak to a group of couples about conflict, somebody will eventually ask, “Well, how do you handle conflict in front of your kids?” This is such an important issue for married couples. I remember one time, we had a fight and our little 3 year old happened to observe us. He said to me afterward, “Mommy, did daddy put you in time out?” and I said, “Yes.” It kind of feels that way.
The key in understanding conflict in front of kids is not to avoid it because then they’ll grow up and think, “Oh, mom and dad never had a fight.” They have no example of how it’s resolved. The key is to find resolve in front of them. That will give them a sense of peace and let them know that conflict is okay when you can find that resolve and move forward.

If you have a comment or question for the New Shine.FM Relationship Experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the Relationships Experts page at Shine.FM.

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Mirroring Your Partner

We just came from a little business meeting and you gave me some feedback afterwards. You said, “Hey, you kind of came off a little arrogant in there.” Just a little gift I gave and yet the thing that I love is that you really are open and non-defensive when I give you feedback. Well, I do like feedback cause I think it’s important to know how you come across to other people. It is because we’re all blind to parts of ourselves. One of the best gifts of marriage is someone who can really mirror yourself back. I remember that I once told you that you sometimes finish my sentences before I even have my thought completed. I have the wrong ending so it creates this impatient feeling. So, friends remember it’s not always an easy pill to swallow but sometimes feedback from your partner can make you a better person.

If you have a comment or question for the New Shine.FM Relationship Experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the Relationships Experts page at Shine.FM.

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What’s The B-HAG For Your Marriage?

Well, have you ever heard of a B-HAG? They talk about it in business. It’s a crazy term, but I think I know what it means. Big. Hairy. Audacious. Goal. Yeah, a B-HAG! That’s exactly right and business leaders talk about that all the time because it gives you energy for shooting for a goal. Our B-HAG these days is to reduce the divorce rate by a third in our lifetime. That’s a big number. It feels very audacious to say that out loud but it’s worth it and it energizes all of our work. Think about what your dream is. What’s the B-HAG in your life, for your marriage? Where do you want it to go? What do you dream? What’s the thing that almost seems out of your reach but you want to shoot for it?

If you have a comment or question for the New Shine.FM Relationship Experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the Relationships Experts page at Shine.FM.

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