Relationship Preparation

Our three-year-old and our eight year-old boys are preparing for something a little unique and special for them.

 

A very special honor—they are going to be Ring Bearers together, which they have never done. We’re in the process of getting them measurements for their little tuxes, and the parents are really prepared. We’re trying to coach them down that isle.

 

That reminds you of all of the preparation that goes into that day, that wedding ceremony. I can’t help but think sometimes are we investing as much into the relationship at the same time.

 

Sometimes that gets over looked, and that’s really the most valuable piece.

 

Friend, think about that in your own relationship. What are you doing to prepare, no matter your age or stage, for the days ahead?

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

Clarification Can Go a Long Way

Shine.FM this is Dr. Les Parrott, and I’m Dr. Leslie Parrott, your Shine.FM relationship experts.

We had an engagement in Boston this week and we’re waiting at Logan Airport for the taxicab and I told the guy I need a taxicab that takes a credit card.

That’s right.

So he went down the line yelling that out in that great Boston accent.

“Card, card need somebody with a card.”

Yeah and I’m not from Boston so I said what is he talking about.

I said it’s as plane as day to me, I grew up there.

That’s when we need to clarify content it’s just another example of how valuable that is.

Especially in marriage.

It is so easy for me to jump to conclusions and I got to check in with you.

Yeah and so when you can’t quite understand what your spouse is saying, friend think about that, just a little bit of clarification can go a long way.

 

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

The Control Freak

You know, Gerry Spence, world famous attorney said something very interesting in an interview about his marriage on day.

 

He said, “The day I finally realized I didn’t need to control my wife and if I did I would destroy our marriage was the day our marriage began.”

 

Isn’t that an amazing insight?

 

It is a struggle for all of us just to release control of the person we love.

 

Well you know I wrote a book some years ago called The Control Freak.

 

Yes you did.

 

I call it your autobiography.

 

I know you do.

 

I like control, and we both do.

 

Everybody is somebody’s control freak some of the time.

 

But when we give up some of that control in our own marriage that’s the day our marriage can really begin.

 

 

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

A Fresh Perspective

Well, there are some artists that sell their work on the street, but we saw an artist that actually puts his art on the street, literally.

Yeah, these chalk drawings he creates are mind boggling because they create on optical allusion that just tricks you.

It’s from the perspective you’re looking at it because on the one side it might look like there is a deep whole in the street or a mountain of money or something you literally think is right there, until you see it from a different perspective and you go, “Oh, it’s just flat on the sidewalk.”

Your mind can hardly process it, but that’s what it’s like when you get a fresh perspective on something.

The same is true in our relationships getting a fresh perspective see things from a whole new angle.

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

Celebrate The Milestones

Well, you had kind of an interesting speaking engagement this week, didn’t you? Yeah, I had the chance to talk about marriage and relationships at a retirement community. Yeah, not your typical audience for this content. No, everyone there was at least two decades into retirement and they had such a great sense of humor. In fact, someone came up to me afterwards and said, “We are celebrating our 90th anniversary.” My jaw just dropped. Then she said, “90 months.” Well, there’s a lesson there, isn’t there? I think so. Even celebrating the months along the way is not a bad message for any of us. Friend, think about that in your own marriage. Celebrate the milestones, even if they are little ones.

If you have a comment or question for the New Shine.FM Relationship Experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

Influences In Your Marriage

Well, this last week we kind of had a reunion of sorts. Yeah, it was an amazing gathering of all our major mentors that we had when we were in graduate school. It was just awesome. Yeah, and to have fellow students there as well, and it was kind of interesting to think about so many people in one place that shaped us during a certain passage of our lives. We were so filled with gratitude and as we left we began to think about the couples that really have invested in us and our marriage. Well, we had an interesting discussion. What if we were to gather all the people in our marriage that had influenced our relationship and put them in one room. Yeah, had been there at turning points and we could let them know how they have impacted us. Friend, think about that. It’s an interesting discussion to have with your own spouse. Who’s influenced you and why?

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM Relationship Experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

Train Your Brain

Well, I’m use to lecturing at the college level, but this week I got to talk to my son’s first grade class about the human brain. Yeah, that was quite the experience and you had a colorful model of the brain and you actually had a human brain. I know. It kind of freaked them out too when I pulled that thing out. I don’t think they expected that. You pulled it and they were a little upset. Well, besides talking about the biology of it, I wanted to let them know that you can train your brain. Yeah, the things you say to yourself inside cut grooves into the way you are thinking. Friend, the same is true when it comes to marriage. Those ‘self statements’, what you say about you and your partner, say a lot about your marriage.

If you have a comment or question for the New Shine.FM Relationship Experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

Thoughts Create Emotions

You know, I think it is pretty difficult to exaggerate the value or the importance of a thought, a single thought as it impacts your marriage. What you think creates the emotions you feel, especially toward your spouse or about your marriage. Yeah, somewhere along the line somebody said something in a classroom or some seminar that I heard, “You’re only one thought away from a good feeling.” Isn’t that the truth? It’s really true. You don’t feel like you have that power. You know, I might say, “Oh, he’s being so mean!” instead of, “He’s really tired right now.” That can change my emotions. That’s a good one to keep in mind. Friend, what do you need to keep in mind as you consider the thoughts that can change your relationship starting today?

If you have a comment or question for the New Shine.FM Relationship Experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

Law vs. Love

Well, we are on a lot of airplanes because of the work we do. Yeah, this time we encountered an unusual thing – the rule keeping flight attendant. Boy, I have seen a more legalistic person in my life. Apparently, you can’t hold a magazine in your lap for takeoff. It was unbelievable and it just rubbed us the wrong way and we got to talking about the difference between grace and that spirit of keeping the law. Well, especially as it applies to relationships, not just flying in airplanes. Right? Absolutely, marriage is miserable if your spouse can’t understand that there need to be exceptions and a lot of forgiveness along the way. Friend, think about that in your own marriage and don’t allow the law to outweigh love. Don’t allow rules to overtake your relationship.

If you have a comment or question for the New Shine.FM Relationship Experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

Feedback

One of the most important relationship principles that anyone can master says, “Who you are is not necessarily what you do.” Boy is that important. Especially when it comes to the words we speak to our spouse in marriage and the kind of feedback we give. Well, I think it is important to separate the person from the behavior, right? Yeah, if I say, “You’re so irresponsible!” that is one kind of message. If I say, “You know what, I noticed you forgot the trash again this week.” Or when someone turns the radio station, you say, “Who made your king of the radio?!” Right? Yeah, instead of just, “Hey, I’m over here. Did you notice me? I’m in the car too.” Friend, think about this in your own relationship. Make sure you separate the person from the behavior.

 

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

 

Listen to today’s audio here.